Crazy as this may sound, I couldn't blog one more thing.
My life was getting so crazy that I was just wanting to
write mean and nasty things...
Sometimes at night, I can lay in bed for hours and think
about so many fun and wonderful things that I would like
to share...but morning comes all to quickly and routines
start...and the nasty thoughts come right along with it.
In a year, I have went thru a really difficult and almost
unbearable at times, child support legal battle...I would never wish
this on my worst of worst enemies. Not so fun when you
are left to pick up all the shattered pieces for you
beautiful children.... Trying oh so hard to keep any
fragments of a relationship that the boys and their father
may have in tact.
They are growing up so fast that I so feel like i am consumed
with doing motherly duties for example: 1. Making sure they
make decent..no not always right but, just decent choices.
2. No drugs of any sort.... so ridiculous how easy they are
to come by these days... 3.Respecting me, in all my screw ups
in dealing with them in the best way I'm learning how to do.
I wish for them to have so much fun....I want them to have happy
memories of growing up...playing and laughing with them...
all so often its the crying and serious conversations that
I find us having...
On a lighter note I did allow chacho the oldest child to get
his ears pierced....I have to admit.... I really think it looks
nice...
Not for sure how I feel about it...but, he wanted a tattoo
as well, so we...lets just say we settled...Bubbie, watched
as the gun would not release the earring once it was pierced,
Yep, pretty sure I wont be going with him anytime soon to
get some sweet "ice" for his ear bobs. Meanwhile the two hole
ear wonder thinks he is pretty studly.
Baby girl is so much a blessing...I'm not sure where I would
be without her.... She brings so many smiles to all our faces.
I think she has saved us this last year...She is that innocent
face that looks back at you ....that's like "what I do want the
third sippy cup of chocolate milk alright" So that day we brush
extra long...
In my year long escape from the blogging world so much could
have, should have and did happen that I wish I could fix, change
and even delete... but, as we know life goes on...
We make of it what we want...we get out of life what we put in
and not a bit more....so I kissed baby girl night night "one more
time mommy" ...and I'm still here deep breath in....Tomorrow, I
will have a fabulous day ...I will get to the Jr high for
bubbie to have a look around at his new home for two years....
I will be excited on Friday to go with bubbie to pick up his
football gear....and yes...I will tailgate at a Jr high game
no matter what he thinks...why? because I can!!!
